Tell him or not??
Jul 10th, 2009 by nermeena
An interesting topic that started off in Mohaly’s blog:
Have your say…
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I really don’t get why something with much significance in life, can be dealt with in that juvenile way!
Our society is hurt very bad really, cultural and ‘religious’ identities are mostly malfunctioned, and people .. they suffer badly without them knowing.
Anyways, I loved this podcast nerro, liked your view awy and I can tell you about a severe symptom of that issue, the silent-guy symptom, guys usually prefer reverent honesty and they strive to do that, but they are usually smacked with girls who confuse honesty with some twisted moral gray areas, so both parties end up silent, guys fear girls responses, and girls .. just wait!
And it’s preposterous if you ask me, but the kind of girl who believes ‘he must’ do a first step, will do herself no good either way in a relationship, because she ignored a first rule already .. there’s no pride in love! .. only sacrifices, and for me personally, even if I like a girl, I would definitely want to get to know her before making sacrifices.
You know, it’s a partnership, do you think, in trade, pride works?! when two business partners screw up the business because one of them thinks the other must ask for a business deal first! .. it’s just very idiotic and pathetic.
And what’s with the hunting?! it’s called coupling (works both way wallahe) and marriage, not hunting, decoys and victims and all the extravaganza .. I hail those girls really, as you said, those people live their lives clearly, they know what they want, they go and get it! period.
Especially in the city and our busy lives .. the Cinderella-shoe story, just doesn’t fit most of the time, and rational people only know how to work it out and just .. be happy keda .. and clear with each other .. no gray areas (I detest those!) .. and what-if ugly maneuvers.
Period. Tany
At times I feel that guys have a previlege of revealing his feelings to the girl he has some feelings to. And I wish that myself would have that previlege… so as just to understand what’s the type of a certain relationship that has mixed messages or just to take myslef the step. But I can never take that step… not becuase it’s acceptable by our culture or not… as I dun follow except what I am conveinced with. But the point is .. that I am convienced that guys psychologically… LOVE to take the initiative and to attract a girl and to do everything and also psychologically girls LOVE to be approaced … she loves to be the chosen one But… to me … it doesn’t matter to me to take the initiative because I’ll still be the chosen one if he was interested in me .. as if he were not interseted in me he can simply say NO… and yes… it’s simple.. and I can afford the pain of hearing the no.. because I gained time… instead of waiting and wondering. But the bigger problem is the guys mindset… and their psychology… that’s what I doubt … and especially… that my sister has a colleague who is happily married to a woman who took the first step… and at times he still says… that he missed chasing a girl and letting her love him .. and he LOST all these feelings… I think it’s not the culture but the FETRA that we were born with… we were born to think in a certain way… and the same is for guys
IBhog…Well put and sai. I cannot agree more besara7a. Yet coming from a guy I have to tell you am really impressed. If only 50% of the Egyptian can think this way or a tad closer!!!
Asmaa: I am not big on Psychology awi, fa honestly I don’t know about the fetra thing. However, I tend to be a little skeptic about this sentence “girls LOVE to be approaced … she loves to be the chosen” begad!!
Well I actually agree with Ibhog but I have to admit that it’s almost a theoretical approach. I mean that practically many girls won’t go and approach a guy in this direct way. Maybe leaving signs as you said or insinuating what she means. I totally believe and respect people who go and get what they want and I too hate silly maneuvers but I would say that there are not a lot of guys who think like Ibhog. I do believe a lot of guys might actually say that it’s OK if a girl takes the first step but when they are actually in the situation they might think less of her or even think it’s weird or that she’s pathetic or sth. All I can say is that I join you in wishing even 25% of the Egyptians think this way or even a tad closer !!!!